So, I haven't told anyone here yet why I was gone from dA for so long. It's pretty personal, but I'm all good with sharing some of the basic elements of my situation.
I had that kidney stone back in October, which took a week for me to pass, and I still continued to go to classes. But I fell behind and became super stressed out. During Christmas break, I spent my days catching up in my Photography class and got my wisdom teeth out, which took a week to recover from. Upon returning to university I was already stressed out and didn't want to be there. I had to deal with a guy who wanted to marry me (but didn't believe in birth control and wanted me to homeschool the extensive number of children we were going to apparently have- which I wasn't about to do) and my grandmother manipulated my relationship with him, clearly desiring us to marry. I didn't, obviously. Well, my almost boyfriend of last year came back out of no where and was more psychopathic than before, sending me disturbing texts about me painting with my blood and whining how he had a dream that I wouldn't do weed with him, when in reality I wouldn't do weed in real life either. I really care about him, but he really scared me.
Anyway, more stuff happened. I was in pain from my hand and I was falling behind in school so I got really depressed. I thought I would get out of it on my own like I had in the past. But it got worse. I wasn't going to classes, I didn't want to socialize. My social anxiety skyrocketed, to the point I wouldn't go outside. I was a complete wreck. Two of my professors sent out alerts to the Student Support Center, including a professor I was very close to. They were afraid for my psychological well being and all that. I wasn't drawing. I mostly played Skyrim 10 or more hours a day. I learned a lot about modding, but that aside, I was doing really horribly in being alive. Several of my friends abandoned me at this time, some of them attacked me. My friend Emma stuck with me and took care of me. A few of my friends got this crazy, bizarre idea that she was controlling and manipulating me. So they told me it was either her or them. I chose her. They hadn't done a thing for me since I had gone into my horrible state of depression and had attacked me over stupid misunderstandings. So my friends of two years ditched me and gossiped and hated me.
I don't really remember everything that happened, just that I was half alive. I almost dropped out of college and gave up on my career as an artist. I most certainly was the furthest thing from happy.
Anyways, there's more, but I'm not sharing that publicly yet. But the counselors are all really intrigued by my case because of some deeper details. I'm doing better now. I'm on an anti-depressant, a kidney pill (to fight stones), a medication for anxiety, and apparently I have slight Asperger's Syndrome. So if it doesn't seem I care enough, I really do care, and I'd defend you to my death. But don't expect me to seem like I'm completely enthralled with you, because I'm not capable of it. Hence why I only have like five friends in RL right now. lol which is fine. Life goes on. I'm okay, it's just weird that I have so much wrong with me all of the sudden. Depression, anxiety, insomnia, super slight OCD (apparently), super slight Asperger's, kidney stones, Cubital Tunnel, and ADHD. All this before my 20th birthday. Geez. Gotta love to be me. I have two counselors right now. And on Wednesday I'll have like five talking to me (because apparently my case is really unique due to some particular psychological details I didn't mention).
Also, just recently, all my community fish, (except my two bettas and the four baby zebra danios) have a freaky parasite that's almost impossible to get rid of. So I have to put them ALL down. My blue gourami, Cordella, my five black neon tetras that I just bought ($15) in February, my three zebra danios, my frog Merrylegs, my ghost shrimp Casper, my four (remaining) guppies, and my three brand new hillstream loaches. That's at least $50 in fish. Gosh.... it's the pits. That's for certain.
But, hopefully this summer I'll be able to regain my footing and officially be on the upside of this monster.
Listening to: The Ravishing Genius of Bones- Album by Brian F.
Reading: Kamikaze by Yasuo Kuwahara and Gordon T. Allred
Watching: Shingeki no Kyojin
Playing: Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Eating: Bread and Honey